The Best She Could Be

So in the end, we couldn’t stop the cancer from growing and it took my beautiful Naomi from us.  I guess it now falls to me, her father, to make the last entry in this blog.   Should I try to describe the pain, the longing for her, the emptiness that we feel when the memories come in, unexpectedly at times?  But no, that is the last thing she would want.   Naomi had such a love for life, a keen desire to live it to the fullest, she would not abide by tears but only laughter.  So I will not dwell on her loss but rather try to describe the wonderful person she was through the memories that we have of her.  

She certainly had her very happy, really silly side.   For instance, last Thanksgiving when we where starting to set the table and sit down, I told everyone to go change for dinner.   My wife and I put on nice clothes but Naomi couldn’t resist putting on a dragon pajamas.   We all started our family Thanksgiving meal with a laugh..

And then there was the time we went to MD Anderson in Houston for a second opinion.   She had sores in her mouth from the chemo and the doctor gave her medicine that helped to cure the sores but it left her mouth blue.   Well she walked down the hallway all through MD Anderson saying hello to everyone with a wide open blue mouth.  

I also remember a few years ago on her last overseas trip just a month before she was diagnosed with cancer, we took her to The Czech Republic, Slovenia and, Austria.   On this trip, we stayed in Vienna for three days and on one of these visited the Schonbrunn palace.  So here we were in this stately, august structure which was the home of Maria Teresa and Emperor Franz Joseph and was the seat of power for them.   Of course, that did not stop Naomi from playing with her mother on the palace grounds. She lifted her up and made sure that her brother took part in the fun as well.   This got some stares from others but that did not seem to bother her at all.

But Naomi was not all fun and games.  She had a passion to help others, she could seemingly without effort emphasize with people who were hurting and help them.   This was an uncanny gift she had and a very real part of who she was.  Sometimes she did something that was fairly small but so important to others,

• Like the time she went to the home of an autistic boy to cut his hair because he could not feel comfortable going to the salon.  

• Or the time a bunch of her friends wanted to go out in the evening but one woman was self-conscious because she had just had eye surgery and was wearing a patch.   So, Naomi had all the girls in the group make patches to wear for the night.  

• And I have had many people tell me about the times they were having hard problems and she became the sounding board for them, listening to their problems and giving helpful advice.

She worked tirelessly to raise money for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Fund (JDRF), her signature charity.  For three consecutive years, she put on a fund raiser she titled “Art is in the blood”, signing sponsors, securing the venue and refreshments to put on a memorable night that raised significant donations for JDRF. 

Much has been said about the costumes she wore to chemo, indeed many of the pictures in her blog show her in these costumes.   While these costumes helped her face the bi-weekly drudgery of chemo, it was much more.   It made her smile, but even more so, it brought a smile and laughter to the faces of the other patients and the nurses.   She did not just wear a costume, then go to her seat and get her injections, oh no, she went to each patient, gave them a smile and a rose.   Or a balloon.  Or a little trinket.   It really didn’t matter what she gave, what mattered was the reaction of others, the smiles and laughter.  A nurse once told me that a patient had asked that her chemo always be scheduled when “that girl with the costume” came.   You see, it was not enough that Naomi felt better, she had to do whatever was possible so that all felt the laughter and it lightened their hearts.

It should always be remembered that cancer did not define Naomi, but it did give her the opportunity to touch so many others.    

It is hard to imagine a world without Naomi, without her laughter, her humor, her joy of life.  I will have to go on without Naomi commenting on all the things I do wrong in a lost effort to correct me. Will no longer hear of the good and the bad in her life, what she loved and how she dealt with the issues that life presents.  There will be no more travel to see her friends in Florida, Wisconsin and elsewhere.   I will have to take some comfort in the fact that Naomi left her mother and I with so many wonderful friends who share this loss.   I know the tears that flow as I write this will stop someday, I know that time will dull the pain.  Just as much as I know that Naomi will continue to live in my heart, in her mother’s and in all those people whose life she has touched and made just a little easier. 

"Sail on silver girl, sail on by"

"Your time has come to shine, all your dreams are on their way"

"See how they shine"

                                   -  Paul Simon

"Where are you going, my little one, little one,
  Where are you going, my baby, my own?"

                                -  Harry Belafonte, Malvina Reynolds and Alan Greene

In the coming months, her blog will be published as a book to help raise money for JDRF.  If anyone wants more information or to reserve a copy, please send me an e-mail at hals88@gmail.com.